


six feet under

by racoongal



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, also widojest if you squint, i just want ducey to stand up for himself man, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26578588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racoongal/pseuds/racoongal
Summary: jeeeaaalousy slowly sink intoooo the sea turning her sick luuuuullabies
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Eodwulf, Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

_ our love is six feet under, _

_ i cant help but wonder _

_ if our grave was watered by the rain, _

_ would roses bloom? _

It seems there is no escaping the multiple (????) cults his friends have been involved with. 

Caduceus is patient, oh so patient, but everything has limits. It seems they are just coming off the tail end of Travelercon when Caleb (poor, tortured enough as is, Caleb) gets perhaps the most foreboding dinner invite ever. But of course they have to go, and Caduceus understands. He understands that all things must be buried. 

The torchlit halls are dark and ominous and sinister (everything to be expected of the Dreaded Master Icky Thong Himself). The deeper they get, even Beau seems to understand that a firefight in here would be ill-advised. So they make nice, or their estimation of nice. Which really starts to unravel before it even began. Nott swipes the first chair, Yasha the second, and Cad (really just doing his best to cover for these assholes) holds out the third for the guy. 

The guy— the first of Caleb’s childhood friends and stooge of Ickithong’s, is unexpectedly striking. Tall, dark, handsome, and a lot broader than most wizards (with noticeably well-muscled forearms). None of this, unfortunately, stops him from being an ass. 

“So what are you then?” The thick Zemnian accent comes out of a slight curved smirk. 

“Vegetarian,” comes Caduceus’ practiced and well-mannered reply, accompanied by his signature pleasant smile. The guy’s (Edwulf? Eadwulf?) grin fades, but his eyes turn more considering. 

The rest of the meal is fraught with tension and insane cult bullshit. Jester does her best to ease the situation (or maybe, Caduceus thinks, get Caleb’s eyes off his ex), but it still just fucking sucks because these things always do. Cad has heard so much inane Nazi philosophy by the end of it that he cant help himself but say, 

“Suffering doesn't make people. Love makes people. I hope someone will mourn you when you are gone.”

Inexplicably, he finds himself saying this more to Eodwulf. Imploring him with sustained eye contact,  _ I have known power. I have known power, and I have not known suffering like yours.  _ Eodwulf’s eyes and face are carefully blank, but Ickithong does not attempt to hide his disdain as he disappears. 

A weight in the air suddenly lifted out of the room, the Nein stifle chuckles around the table at Ickithong’s reaction Cad’s unwavering faith. Both of the wizard servants ( _ Caleb’s childhood friends,  _ Caduceus fights to remind himself) remain rigid the whole walk out. Thus, it is not surprising that they refuse the offer for a drink.

What is surprising, is that Caduceus finds himself unsatisfied with that. He notices the emblem of the Raven Queen around Eodwulf’s neck, and puts the pieces together ( _another paladin_ _huh...)_. He finds himself pushing, 

“You know, a couple of generations back, we Clays served your matron as well.” He gestures to the sigil and smiles kindly. The stoic man finally lets a spark into his eyes when he responds,

“Ah, is that so? Would not have known with the  _ geruch  _ of Melora’s nature about you,” The harsh Zemnian sounds are unfamiliar, but are clearly teasing. Cad hears Caleb stifle a giggle. 

“Well, seeing as you probably just insulted me in a language I don't speak, you definitely owe me a drink,” He replies evenly. And then that's definitely a giggle from Caleb (and a spluttering cough from Fjord?). Caduceus is new to flirting, extremely new. But Eodwulf calls to the part of him that heals— that mends— that finds broken things and loves them. And it is exactly this that has him pushing he realizes. Fjord and Jester are dancing around each other (for more reasons than one), but Caduceus has had enough waiting and watching with idle hope.  _ More people need me than just you. This man could need me—this man could want me. And maybe I need someone too.  _

Finally, after some extensive prolonged eye contact, Eodwulf nods. His face is still somewhat reserved, but there is a smile in his eyes as he says,

“I suppose you do need someone who knows the best taverns. Gods know this  _ dummkopf _ -” he playfully shoves Caleb, “doesn’t.” Hearing this, Astrid also relents and joins them on the cobblestone streets of Rexxentrum. She, Eodwulf, and Caleb walk in front of the Nein— a painfully nostalgic portrait of once younger souls. As Caduceus and Jester linger somewhat near the back of the rather large group, Fjord finds him. 

“Can I-” He spares a glance at Jester, “can I talk to Ducey for just a moment please?” Oddly, his voice is tight and his eyes are hard ( _ He’s angry? At Caleb maybe?) _ . Jessie nods and skips up to Veth whispering wildly. 

“Everything alright Fjord?” As much as he wishes he didn't, Cad cannot help but search his golden eyes and lean into his shorter bulk.  _ Melora, you have me on a tight leash sailor boy.  _

“Why did you invite him out?” Fjord spits. This takes Caduceus aback, because that tone and anger has never been directed at him before. Before he can respond confusedly, Fjord continues,

“Why did you never tell me that your family worshiped the Raven Queen once? Why are you fucking flirting with the enemy?” 

Cad had been dazed by the sudden onslaught of temper thrown his way, but now it shifted. For the first time since joining the Mighty Nein, Caduceus was angry at the unfairness of a teammate. So he cant help himself from shooting back irritably,

“And that's not the most hypocritical bullshit ever.” Fjord’s eyes widened in shock, but now that Cad’s started he can’t stop. 

“Furthermore, Mister Fjord, I don't see how that's any business of yours. It is completely fair for me to pursue someone of my own even though you only see me as your own personal therapist.” At this point, Caduceus abruptly realized that not only had he slightly raised his voice (nowhere near Beau’s normal speaking voice but still), he had also revealed something crucial. Yet, he couldn't find it in him to apologize in that moment,  _ I’ve loved you too much for too long _ , so he simply continued walking— Fjord still standing dumbfounded in the middle of the bustling street. 


	2. Chapter 2

_help,_

_i lost myself again,_

_but i_

_remember you_

  
  


“Dude honestly? Like I know i'm not one to talk but this is a new level,” Beau’s voice cut through his hazy stupor. Fjord glanced up from his (fourth? fifth?) ale to meet her unimpressed gaze. He throws back the last of his cup and says,

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hoping she’ll drop it, he leans away from the bar and looks dazedly around the tavern. She plops down into the stool next to him. 

“No? Because getting mad at Caduceus and then getting hammered is normal for you?” Her tone is flat— her _You're not getting out of this_ voice. Fjord sighs. She continues, “You’ve been glaring daggers over there all night.” Unable to resist, he looks at the table in question. 

Caduceus is laughing at something the Zemnian fucker said— his ( _large, softly furred_ ) hand resting on the guy’s ( _stupidly well muscled_ ) forearm. They’re alone at the table and sharing each other’s space.

“See! That! That's the look, dude!” Once again, Beau’s voice cuts through the haze. Fjord quickly snaps his head back to her and can’t help the tiny guilty look in his eyes. He sighs again. At this point, she finally softens,

“Look man. You know i’ve got your back right?” (he nods). “So you know that what i’m about to say is for your own good-” (he makes a slightly dubious face) “Shut up and listen.” (he does).

“You like Duceus. That's great! But the thing is he doesn’t fucking know that. And it’s not great to be all pissed at him and he doesn't even know why,” She stops, and lays a hand on his shoulder. “So, either sack up and tell him or suck it up.” The hand gives him a rough punch. _Ow._

Fjord can’t help but chuckle and shove her back. Admittedly, even his drunk brain sees her point. He lets out a rueful smile and says, “You make it sound so simple.” He looks around again, sees Veth and Yasha having what looks to be a very serious discussion while eating cashews ( _why_ ), sees Jester doing her damndest to interject loudly into Caleb and Astrid’s conversation, and finally looks over to the table he’d watched all night. Instead of the expected scene however, he meets Caduceus’ eyes— having already been looking at him. 

It's electric, it’s always electric. The bar fades away, Fjord feels the warm breeze and smell of earth he knows is both Melora’s and Cad’s. No time and forever pass and Fjord knows deep in his bones that he has to try. Ever so slightly, he tips his head towards the door and mouths _Can I talk to you?_

—

Caduceus was not going to allow any of his anger or hurt towards Fjord spoil his night. So he straightened his lithe shoulders and smiled his warmest smile at the hot guy he invited here. Surprisingly, Eodwulf was nothing but a gentleman. He pulled out the chair for Cad with a quiet laugh and a rumbled, “Let's not make a habit of this.” Before Caduceus could respond, he walked over to the barmaid and ordered two mulled wines. 

Eodwulf asks questions and actually seems interested in the answers. He leans into Cad’s space and brushes their arms together. He makes gruff jokes and teases in a low deep voice, as if they are secrets for just them two. He brushes off questions thrown his way with a vague comment or a dark and searching look. He is the type of broken that all the little cracks are too thin to see from anywhere but right up close. Essentially, he’s Caduceus’ cup of tea. 

_And yet…_

They talk for hours, and through a few tankards of mulled wine. Eodwulf is driven, ambitious, mysterious. They share thoughts conspiritally— like the feeling of laughing your hardest when you’re not supposed to. Caduceus flirts for the first time in his life, and feels the thrill of someone reciprocating.

_And yet…_

All night, he had pointedly avoided contact with not only Fjord but the rest of the Nein as well. He had wanted to throw himself headfirst into the deep end of romance and not look up. _I’ve watched them all do it, why can’t I?_ In part, he feared losing his nerve. Another part, a darker, more selfish part, feared that his mind would begin to replace the pale dark haired man in front of him. He feared that Eodwulf’s skin would not be green, his eyes not gold, and that kissing him would be missing the blunt pressure of tusks. 

Drawn as if by magnet, Caduceus’ eyes find Fjord. He is laughing with Beau at the bar, the long line of his neck exposed as he throws his head back. Like always, the sight reminds him of the Wildmother. _You are the Her’s, not mine. And oh did she craft you heavenly._

Suddenly, their gazes meet. For an eternity and a moment, through the musty overcrowded tavern, Caduceus feels a cool breeze carrying the scent of salt ( _sweat and the sea, always_ ). 

_Look away, Fjord. Look away and let me go._

He doesn’t. Fjord tips his head towards the door and asks silently to talk outside. And for all that Caduceus is wise, and knows a good idea from a bad one, it feels impossible to say no. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the DRAMA... 
> 
> anywho! hmu on tungle @aprilcolours i draw and write and whatnot

**Author's Note:**

> geruch- odor in german (according to google translate ion fookin kno)  
> dummkopf- fool or dumbass lol 
> 
> my tumblr.comblr is @aprilcolours !


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